All around the world, every piece of literature tells you how painful it is to be addicted. How your patient wants the most, what has the power to destroy him completely and the irony behind it. But have you ever thought about yourself? What kind of pain are you going through and how hard is it for you to be around your patient? The constant struggle between being with him or leaving him at the hands of his fate.
This pain is real and it affects the way you deal with your patient and how you respond to his treatment process. For a patient of addiction, who has lost not only his physical health and quality of life but also the basic right to respect, it can be quite difficult to meet up to your standards of expectations and what you feel must be the correct way for him to progress. But the reality is further away from the truth. A patient is a patient and will neither be able to control his disease nor will he be able to meet your set of criteria. He requires both time and patience to heal and you, as a family, as a spouse or a mother are unable to provide him with the same because the pain has dimmed your strength. You have simply become tired.
It is where you need to realize how essential it is for you to take care of what you have lost in the progression of this disease. Though you are broken and worn down by the disease of addiction, by the trauma caused at the hands of it, you are the only one with enough capacity to save yourself.
It is often thought that once the patient gets his treatment and moves on, once addiction is out of the picture and the patient actively engages in the recovery program, everything will be sorted out. But, is it true?
Of course not, addiction is a manifestation of long-standing emotional and psychological damage. No one wants to grow up and be an addict, or raise or marry one. Alas, when mental health is left unchecked for long, with prior genetic components, it becomes easier for this disease to advance. While the patient is in addiction, he may end up hurting you and causing more and more heartbreak in his wake. Despite his promises, he might not be able to deliver what he promises. But this is where you need to have an insight that your son/husband/brother is not only this but a patient as well. Once you start detaching yourself from this, the picture will become clearer and you will be able to do what needs to be done.
The energy that you put into taking care of your patient must become equivalent to the energy that you need to put into taking care of yourself. Your mental health, your pain, your feelings, and your emotions need to be addressed so that you can heal from the pain that has left its mark on you. So that, together you both can walk down the road to recovery.
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